How does the old saying go…behind every good man, there is an even better woman? Is the converse also true? That might have been a good subtitle for the July 26, 2010, Fortune cover story (also on line at http://money.cnn.com/2010/07/06/news/companies/ibm_insider_trading.fortune/index.htm). Bob Moffat, by all accounts, a good father and husband and a likely candidate to succeed his good friend, Sam Palmisano, as CEO of IBM, had reached the pinnacle of a sterling career. No matter what Big Blue asked of him over 30+ years, Moffat had delivered. Enter, beautiful younger woman. Danielle Chiesi, whom Fortune describes as a blond, blue-eyed, petite, beauty queen, a force of nature, changed Moffat’s career aspirations almost over night. And his life, too. In an interview with Fortune, Moffat said, “The biggest thing I’ve lost is my reputation.” When asked about his relationship with Chiesi, Fortune reported that he said, “Everyone wants to make this about sex. Danielle had an extensive network of business people. And she added clarity about what was going on in the business world…I know in my heart what this relationship was about: clarity in the business environment.” To which, the Fortune interviewer added, “He may even believe that.”

On the heels of the IBM story, we learned that Mark Hurd, the man who has led a strong recovery at HP since 2005, was stepping down under accusations of misusing company funds potentially involving a female contractor (http://www.businessweek.com/news/2010-08-07/hp-chief-executive-hurd-resigns-after-sexual-harassment-probe.html). The stock plunged another 10%. At our house, we admired Hurd who seemed to be a no-nonsense, low profile, get-it-done CEO. We appreciated what he did for the company’s reputation and capture of its leadership position in the PC market and number 2 behind IBM in the services market. I was dismayed to hear the news. All I could think of was, “What in the world would Bill and Dave say now?” How utterly destroyed they would be!

I have two questions. First, why is it that power and success so often lead men to corruption and/or sex scandals? Is that a guy thing? Think about it, how many ranking women do you see in the news in similar situations to these guys? Do the women just cover their tracks better? Or do power and success simply lead women to different kinds of temptations? Second, why can’t bright women like Chiesi use their physical and mental gifts for good and not for evil…to achieve success the old fashioned way…by doing honest work for it!

Can anyone help me answer these two questions? I would love to hear from you. Maybe the original title of my book had some truth to it…”Woman on Top: Climbing to the Top of the Sales Game.” Now you know why we DID NOT use that title!

So why is gray now in? According to another AARP, “Generation Y is becoming ‘Generation Why-Are-We-So-Bummed-Out.’ A Harris poll found that only 26% of those 18-24 admit to being happy, with 55% feeling frustrated by work. Compare that to their findings about the gray crowd. Older workers report less job stress. Harris found that 50+ crowd is much happier — 44% of those 65+ and 37% of those 50-64. Remind me why we all wistfully yearn for youth?! For the moment, let’s not debate what “happy” is. Rather, let’s take “happy” at face value. As it relates to the younger set, could this be one more reason they seek out older mentors? Mentors who at least seem to have it all together and be successful on the job? We Boomers are clearly being watched. Is what you are modeling for the next leaders in your organization what you want them to repeat? Something to think about because along with mentoring comes a great deal of responsibility.

All this talk of gray reminds me of one of my favorite Proverbs. King Solomon must have thought it important since he repeats it a couple of times. In Proverbs 16:31, Solomon reminds us that “A gray head is a crown of glory.” In 20:29, the good king says, “The glory of young men (and women) is their strength, and the honor of old men (and women) is their gray hair.” So there we have it…gray is good! Wear your “crown” carefully and proudly!

Mentoring may be done either in groups, or one-on-one, but the key to making it a success is forming an ongoing, interactive relationship. In doing so, both parties feel comfortable sharing with each other. Whether the term be phrased mentoring or coaching, the basis behind it is incredibly beneficial. Taking senior knowledge and experience and passing it along to the next generation is of the highest value to a newly experienced worker. Mentors continue to help build confidence while making work more clear and concise.

As I began reading the book, it never occurred to me that mentoring would be of such value to the younger generation. However, after reading through the book, it has become very clear to me that we can’t do it all on our own, that some form of mentor will be of great help in whatever areas needed. As I continue my path into the business world, I look forward to seeking out a mentor, forming an ongoing, upbeat relationship, and rising to the next level. In hopes of success, I will take the knowledge I learn and reciprocate by mentoring for those in the generations to come.

Thodey’s situation is not dissimilar to that of many executives today. His industry (telecommunications – Australia’s largest) is in significant upheaval. Landlines are in decline and wireless is on the incline. Competition and regulatory restrictions are tougher by the day The WSJ asked Thodey about numbers and how critical they are to his and his company’s success.

“WSJ: There is a lot of data on customer behavior in your industry. Are you a metrics junkie? (March 15, 2010 – http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704353404575114791966557902.html?KEYWORDS=IBM+CEO)

Mr. Thodey: Just like the markets and returns to shareholders, it is only the numbers that matter. You can talk strategy, you can talk culture, but if you don’t deliver the numbers then you really are not doing your job. (…) Mondays are usually a good day, Fridays tend to be a little bit slower. I look at calls into the call centers on a daily basis, I look at shop traffic. All these give you indicators of what’s going on but you’ve got to be careful to not to react too quickly.”

What we found in our research is that the answer to the numbers vs. nurture is both/and not either/or. And since there are still more men than women in the executive suite, women had better pay attention to what men think matters. Just a statement of fact. You always listen to the needs of your customer, right? And bosses are customers as much as those who buy your product or service.

So yes, nurture counts enormously, but so do the numbers. Ladies, have them on the tip of your tongue, not in the file or at the fingertips of your assistant or CFO. You need to be able to USE them in your daily walk, not just for talk. Get comfortable with the numbers and they will often show you where to take action you might have otherwise missed.

So it was a rude awakening and, quite frankly, very confusing to me when I encountered the first colleague to create the impression that the two of us were different in the eyes of the boss, the client and the world. Although I did not really understand why he thought we might have different opportunities, I was in no way deterred. In fact, it just made me more determined.

At the same time, I became aware of other women who had learned this message of difference much earlier than I and who had taken the comments on as not just chips, but boulders on their shoulders. Truthfully, I wanted to distance myself from those women as fast as I could. That is where attitude kicks in.

Women on successful career tracks don’t have to, and quite frankly should not, be like men to succeed. It is our differences that often make a team more successful than an all-male or all-female team. We do think differently. We act differently. We look different…but all for a good reason that the good Lord decided way back in the beginning!

But male or female, our attitude about ourselves and those around us speaks louder than our gender. No one wants to work with someone who lives assuming everyone is against her (or him!). So lighten up and be all that you were made to be. There are few limits you don’t have major control over.

The women in the book know who they are and they take the hill, day by day, always giving their very best, rarely thinking about gender. These women are the role models for both men and women coming behind them, beside them and one day ahead of them!

So that is what we did. We reached out to our network of executives and within a few days, we had found and contacted most of the women we ended up including in the book. The simple act of asking friends and colleagues to help us identify women at the top of the corporate sales ladder was a great reminder that it is often who you know and not just what you know. At first, I thought women might respond out of ego to our request for an interview. But it was quickly evident from their responses to our questions that they were serious about sharing their hard won experiences with men and women just starting out on the sales career journey. And I do mean ‘men and women’ because most of these women never distinguished between men and women unless we asked the pointed question. That, in itself, is a key learning. These women know they are different from many of their colleagues, but they do not see that first and foremost. They see successful sales people, some of whom are women and some of whom are men. They treat everyone equally and expect others to do the same. That is not to say there can be different issues as a woman in sales, but those differences are to be embraced and not carried around as heavy chips on one’s shoulders.

But back to networking! Even at the highest rungs of the ladder, busy women responded to the requests of those who knew them and made a simple request for an interview with me, a complete stranger. They say we are separated by 6 degrees, but I don’t think it was more than 3 degrees of separation for any of the women in our book.

The power of networking is in the give and the take. If you are out there collecting emails or cards without giving value to your new contacts, you aren’t networking. You are collecting. And when the time comes to find your top 20 influential contacts, they won’t be there for you. So start networking now. Give first and they will be there for you when you need help.

My own story (see My Story page of this blog) includes a fast start in sales, reaching all the goals set before me, enjoying the award trips and celebrations, but then an exit to be a part of my first start-up. Going from selling at IBM where everyone knew we were ‘the safe choice’ to selling for a company that had not brand recognition and not even a full product yet, was a huge leap and demanded the best of what IBM had taught me about selling.

As we searched for the women we interviewed, we found more women who had been very successful in sales but who had taken those skills elsewhere. They had chosen to leave the corporate ladder and to apply their skills in a host of other environments from teaching to entrepreneurism to politics.

Two observations: First, selling is a skill needed in almost every job or walk of life—from motherhood to sales executive to CEO. Second, successful sales women, more often than not, can and do chose to ply their trade outside the narrow corporate track.

Why? The primary reason given was the life style and the money. Many of the women we spoke with chose to stay in sales, and not management, because promotions would cost them significant income opportunities and often increase the travel. Income and life style. Those who chose to move into other roles as entrepreneurs or who were recruited to run someone else’s company continued to rely on their sales skills to be successful, but their choices most often reflected a preferred lifestyle and income structure.

Think about it, male or female, what is not to love about the flexibility, the thrill of the chase, the money, the great awards and recognition of front line sales?!

So maybe there isn’t really a problem that there are so few women in sales executive roles, since many are where they are today by choice. Perhaps the real problem is that there are some extraordinary leaders and mentors in the chief sales executive role and because their numbers are so few, there are lots of Gen X and Y people who will miss the kind of leadership and wisdom they have to share.

But more on that later!

A couple of years passed and another business acquaintance suggested the same thing. I was beginning to get the message. When the third person gave me a numerical (data) reason to write the book, I knew it was time. The stats he quoted to me were astounding and compelling. His particular area of interest was women in sales. And his question was: If 25% of the people in sales are women, but only 1% of those women make it to top leadership positions in sales, where did all the women go? And why?

As I thought about this, I checked some other stats. It isn’t just sales leadership that is short on women; the shortage is in the board room and the C-suite across the board. And my mother thought her generation had waged and won the battles for career women of her daughters’ generation! Sadly, and fortunately for you, the frontiers are still plentiful.

The wonderful part of our pursuit of this book was learning that many women who have done well in their careers truly care about sharing their experiences with the next generation—and not just with women, but with men, too, who are climbing the career ladder.

So, while the women we interviewed for the book are each the top sales executive in their companies, the wisdom they share is mostly sales-neutral. That is, the lessons can be applied to any function and any organization, for-profit or not-for-profit, business or education.

The book is our way of helping you to learn from some extraordinary, yet ordinary, women who love what they do, who have made successful careers in the midst of a mostly male world and who have not compromised who they are as women, mothers, wives, mentors and executives. The book provides you access to women who know what it takes to reach the top rungs of the executive ladder without losing yourself.

Did we find out why so many women don’t make it? Not quantitatively, but there are some qualitative findings that we will share along the way.

Listen and learn from their experiences, the good and the not-so-good!

The book will be on Amazon in the next few weeks, so watch for Wingtips for Women coming your way. In the meantime, visit the blog as often as you wish and let us know what is on your mind. We want this to be a resource for you, not just a writing exercise for us!

Gen X and Y workers have much to teach Boomers about how to enjoy life to the fullest without being the “dull boy” of the old proverb about Jack. (All work and no play, makes Jack/Jill a dull boy/girl!) In fact, many of the Boomer women in our book seem to have learned this Gen Y lesson far ahead of their generation.

What does this mean for the way Boomers share their knowledge with younger workers? Sometimes our expectations are not even on the same planet! Does being in the office or in front of a client meant that is the only time you are truly working? Or can you be working on your career while climbing Everest?

One of my long held beliefs is that executives who never take vacations, in fact, pride themselves on the fact, will see constantly diminishing returns on their hours at work. It was my husband who first taught me this while I was burning the midnight oil at IBM. I was in my early twenties and already not taking time to refuel my brain and my body. It is amazing how many problems can be worked out sitting on a beach or cycling down a Vermont road!

Alas, no single generation has it all figured out. These differences are some of the things we want to further explore on this blog, so please join us.